my wife: so I heard that you and the little boy took a trip downtown today :)
me: yeah haha
my wife: you guys saw a marching band, huh?
me: uh
my wife: he said you got kind of intense about his future career
sure he’s well versed in leftist theory but does he do the dishes
girl help i’m being forced to work @ my job
All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the Queen hobbles out on her walking stick in February, stops in a daze, topples forward and almost falls flat on her face, but at the last second does a forward somersault, jumps back up, and then cheerfully gives a bunch of children a tour of Buckingham Palace, during which she kills them off one by one, in order to choose which one will be the next queen.
funnytwittertweets
my coworker stumbled upon one of the best stock images of all time
me: (worries about all the things I haven’t done yet)
me: (still doesn’t do them)
